Spiritually Healing Trauma

I would like to preface this piece by saying I am not a professional writer, I don’t care about structure and grammar. I’m also in a very altered state.

I have a lot of trauma from this lifetime, and my past life. I discovered that I was one of the scientists responsible for creating the technology that destroyed Atlantis. Sound crazy? Leave your connection to logic, facts, science, and empirical data behind. I have had depression since I can remember. I developed an anxious-avoidant attachment style as a child because of the neglect I experienced from my family.

Last September, I completely totaled two vehicles. I had just turned 17 and recently got my license. It’s now April of 2019, and I have just now been able to process the trauma those two incidents caused me. I am a very clean, organized, motivated person. For the last couple months, I began failing all of my classes, my room was in a constant state of chaos, and I would stay up all night and sleep until ridiculously late hours. My brain was unable to comprehend any other way of living.

I realized now, before I began writing this, that none of that matters. When you are truly connected to your inner being, and you fully trust in your inner guidance, you have access to parts of the universe depression and trauma told you that you were unworthy of. All of my life, I have struggled with feeling competent, feeling loved, being able to trust myself and others. I constantly felt if I had asked for help, admitted I have a problem, I would be crucified. I felt as if I deserved to carry all of the burdens in the world and for some reason I just did not deserve to feel happy or loved.

I am made up of the greatest force in the cosmos. You are too. When we realize this, we can forgive our traumas. Whatever abuse we experienced as a child can be forgiven and let go completely. When “bad things” happen to us, they are merely lessons. Imagine life in a padded white room, all of the food and entertainment and sex you could ever want. Would you know happiness without knowing despair? Everything in life is absolutely temporary.

From sea foam you were born and you will die as sea foam. Your ego, physical body, and trauma are cosmically unimportant. When you recognize that it is not those things that you are made of, rather your immortal soul, your heart, and your inner being, you can set yourself free.

Cultural Appropriation and Spirituality

I am far from a leftist, or even a right winger for that matter. My beliefs about politics are nonexistent, every politician is a cannibalistic traitor that eats the flesh of children.

However, the issue of Cultural Appropriation when it comes to spiritual matters is one I’ve questioned a lot. I personally believe that the best way to go on one’s spiritual path is to follow your inner voice, not go shopping in the New Age section at Barnes and Noble and pick and choose which beliefs you hold based on what sounds the catchiest.

My background/heritage is quite irrelevant to me, I was born to two alcoholic parents in a Midwestern state with no culture to speak of. I had to learn on my own, while listening to my inner guidance. I started my spiritual path with the generic bullshit, Wicca (no offense to any wiccans), “intention” based practice, crystals, the rule of 3 etc. However, I found myself always drawn further towards different types of magic and theology. Most common pagan beliefs are drawn from Norse or Celtic cultures, and they resonate with me at a frequency of exactly zero.

I grew up going to a Catholic school, and have an affinity and respect for the Saints and the Holy Virgin. Many of the tools on my altar I procured when I was in Andalusia (my favorite place in the world) at various cathedrals. I have a picture of La Virgen de la Macerna, the Virgin of Seville, on my altar at all times. Santeria is one of the most interesting religions to me, however I respectfully choose to not go down that path.

The fact of the matter is- I am overwhelmingly Caucasian. I have immense respect for many Afro-Latinos/Caribbeans and black people that practice Santeria or other African faiths, and their spiritual journey is their own. I am not about to start calling myself a Voodoo Queen just because I like to study Voodoo/Hoodoo.

However, I don’t think spirituality is as black and white as “this race can only practice this religion”. I prayed before entering a cornerstore that was known to sell different things including bootleg Versace cologne, some cheap wigs, a wide selection of Arizona drinks I have never seen etc. I found a kit of Hindu worship material, only one kit in the whole store. I was elated, because I knew my spirits guided me to this location to present something I needed. This kit is used to honor the god Ganesh, who I would now consider a great friend of mine. I do not consider myself to be Hindi, do not wear Bindis or try to school people on chakras and Hindu philosophy.

So if someone from a Slavic country somehow stumbled across Santeria, and they felt an immense pull towards this religion, I don’t think any of us can really judge that person. If they put in the time and effort to go through ceremonies, understand the Orishas, and essentially know their shit, I don’t think it’s on the same level as someone who just learned about Karma and decides they’re the expert on Tibetan Buddhism.

I do think the bodies and the heritage we were born into can be a major key into understanding our spiritual path, but as humans we have to understand that we cannot comprehend what the Spirits are doing 100 percent of the time. I respect people, especially Voodoo practitioners as this issue was brought to my attention by them, who wish to keep their practice contained to their people. Every region in the world has some kind of pre-Abrahamic religion or belief system. It’s worth looking into what OUR ancestors want for us, rather than praying to ancestors that aren’t even ours.

Did you have a past life in Atlantis?

I did! People who have past lives in atlantis can typically experience:

  1. Fear of the ocean/large bodies of water
  2. OR an intense fascination of the ocean
  3. Guilt, or feeling extremely skittish and anxious for no reason all the time
  4. A fear of natural disaster
  5. Having a visceral reaction when hearing unknown sounds (maybe planes, gunshots, construction but the sounds tend to linger longer on you than others who may not take notice)
  6. A sense of not belonging
  7. (appropriate!) mistrust of government, military etc
  8. Aversion/OR fascination with technology
  9. an affinity for countries in southern europe or middle east/barbary coast
  10. fascination with dolphins
  11. The colors gold, purple, white, or regal colors attract you
  12. dreams of natural disasters, floods, volcanoes etc
  13. Drawn to healing, counseling, medicine fields
  14. You find yourself confused by drama and politics- as if you knew of a better system
  15. attraction to crystals


I will write about my past life experiences in Atlantis, when I am better equipped to deal with the traumatic memories.

Leave Your Daddy Issues in 2018

In the current state of America, I feel confident in saying most people have unresolved mommy or daddy issues. In a way, I feel (modern) American culture in of itself is built on the idea of the tyrannical father figure that damns all men as terrible abusers or authoritarian monsters.

When you do things to punish your parents for their ignorance or abuse, you’re shooting yourself in the foot. When every day you consciously decide to make all men pay for the sins of your father, you’re only punishing yourself. By focusing too much on what your father did to fuck your life up so much (psychological term), you completely give up any chance you have at healing. This is actually celebrated in our world. Those who are more conspiracy minded, like myself, likely have a laundry list of reasons that our society at large promotes never healing mental wounds and never becoming a functioning adult. Faux rebellion is sold to college students racking up hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt to study Intersectional Queer Science. If you want to rebel, become a functioning and independent adult.

I have to admit that I offer no solution to solving Daddy Issues, as I am a licensed Not Therapist. The best advice I have to offer, is not to let yourself become a victim. Acknowledge that something terrible happened to you, you were a child and did not deserve it, but now you’re an adult. Watch the Brady Bunch or any old family sitcom. That’s how dads really act. Accept that your situation was abnormal and wrong, and should not be the norm.

The Myth of Unconditional Love

I’d like to credit meme psychologist Jordan Peterson with helping me further understand the myth of unconditional love and acceptance.

I remember last summer when I was going through a transitory stage in my life, watching hours upon hours of Jordan Peterson lectures. His old-world philosophy, emphasis on structure, and scattered INTJ lecture style appealed to me almost the same way as my favorite psychology professor, an older clinical psychologist with an affinity for Freudian psychology and chicken jokes. One thing Jordan Peterson said that really stuck out to me, aside from all of his Christ allegories and chaos dragons, is that identity is negotiated, not fixed.

The ideal for identity development is negotiation, trial and error, and then acceptance. Identity can never truly be fixed, but can never truly be fluid. This is especially applicable to romantic and interpersonal relationships.

From men- “Women only love men because (money/status/xyz)”

From women- “Men only love women because (sex/appearance/xyz)”

The myth that we all have a soul mate that will love us unconditionally and will never make us feel bored or unsatisfied is constantly played out in western society. The search for unconditional love from our partners calls back to Freud’s psychoanalytic theory, at least from what I can see. People will search for the unconditional love that they did not receive from their parents, or from themselves.

All romantic love is conditional. I don’t believe it to be so conditional that there’s no room for discussion about standards and expectations, or that if a woman truly loved her husband and he suddenly lost his job, she would leave him. But in this situation, if the husband’s love for his wife matched her’s, he would be out looking for work because he understands that providing for his wife shows her that she is loved.

Men and women’s love languages are inherently different. Men do not want to be loved the same way women want to be loved. There is some fluidity and nuance in every couple, but the rule remains the same. If a woman were to refuse to love her husband the way that he craves to be loved, as in through sex and what I refer to as supportive femininity, she cannot complain that her husband only loved her for xyz when he serves her divorce papers after being completely neglected for years on end.

In a healthy relationship, two people bring their best selves together. “Take me at my worst, or you don’t deserve me at my best” mentality is creating a generation of perpetual children looking to be fixed instead of healthy, emotionally stable adults looking to create life long commitment.

Why Virgo Women Love These Signs (And How They Hurt Her)

Virgo women, especially younger women, have a tendency to be attracted to these 3 male zodiac signs: Scorpios, Taurus, and Leos.

From what I can tell from my own personal experience, virgo women do have the tendency to be quite virginal and innocent. Not in a conventional sense, as I know many virgo women who have had their fair share of hook up culture and other “impure” activities. But virgo women don’t really let their inner selves become affected by hookups or living on the wild side for a while. They have an inner naivety and innocence that they guard with a very masculine front.

Many virgo women are true romantics at heart, and often wish that they could only allow themselves to feel soft. Virgo women of course have god complexes,  and tend to hate the idea of being vulnerable. A virgo woman will find herself very attracted to men who seem different, or more “manly” than most men. They crave sexual polarity, but their partners will not always be willing to work towards unlocking their feminine side. Their partners might sense her need to nurture and give, and walk all over her. The virgo woman will be quick to forgive, and almost over perform femininity out of fear of being left.

Why Virgo women love Leo Men:

Leo men come across like celebrities. They are very self important, and tend to draw others in to their energy field. A virgo woman will find herself at the edge of her seat when she is infatuated with a Leo male, in love with his way with words. Leo men often have good senses of humor, which appeals to Virgo’s mercury connection. Most of all, the lion symbolizes protection to the Virgo woman. Virgo women are likely to feel like impostors in their day to day lives, and feel like they are going to break down at any moment. Virgo women fear vulnerability or chaos of any kind. A leo man might be in touch with his femininity (by being prideful or vain), but to the Virgo woman he loves, he will be her knight in shining armor. The downside to this partnership is Leo men can be very emotionally volatile and narcissistic. They require validation almost as much as a woman does. A virgo woman will give him everything he desires, until it’s not good enough for him anymore.

Why Virgo women love Scorpio Men:

Scorpios are water signs, and their emotional ways can help virgo women feel more complete. A virgo woman will be boastful of her scorpio man, and quick to overlook any unfaithfulness on his side. A scorpio man promises excitement, which virgo women crave because of their inner desire to be saved or protected. A virgo woman will be heavily in lust with her scorpio man, because scorpio men are in touch with their femininity and likely to exhibit hypersexuality. Virgo women tend to be high libido, but need a great deal of security before being able to enjoy sex. A scorpio man’s smooth talking abilities, machismo and possessiveness will make her feel desired, which is what she needs in order to feel sensual. She will most likely be too submissive and willing to give up sex too easy, because scorpios radiate sexual energy. Virgo women and Scorpio men have a tendency to play with each other and develop bonds based on sex and emotional support. The Virgo woman might feel obsessed with him at first, then realize he’s not all that, but still care for him deeply. A scorpio man can bring a virgo woman to tears very easily because of his callousness.

Why Virgo women love Taurus Men:

This could be a whole separate article. Taurus men and virgo women are the most natural conclusion, but this is only if their sexual polarity aligns. Virgo women have a tendency to trust Taurus men too much. Virgo women will fall head over heels for a Taurus man but not realize it until after he’s hurt her. Taurus are of course hypermasculine and this excites her. A taurus man will make her feel safe and she will feel good telling him all of her secrets. This is wrong, because she gives up her hand. Virgo women hate playing “games”, Taurus men love them. Taurus men love arguments and drama, and virgo women are very easily upset and conflict avoidant. A taurus man can feel unreachable, and virgo women often make themselves look stupid trying to prove their worth to them. The taurus man says jump, the virgo woman asks how high? As with scorpios, taurus use positive reinforcements sparingly to make the virgo woman crazier about him. A taurus man and a virgo woman have high sexual chemistry, but the virgo woman’s tendency to overthink can keep a Taurus man at arms length. The key to getting a Taurus man as a virgo woman is to reverse their games. Don’t care about them, but every once in a while, give them just a little tiny bit of validation.

None of these pairings are inherently bad, but I personally feel that most articles about compatibility are too positive and idealistic, which can lead to bruised egos.

The Worst Way to Approach a Woman

This post is aimed at men who might be socially awkward or just in general struggle with getting dates.

The absolute worst way for a man to approach a woman is online. The one thing that will annoy a woman to no end, is a simple DM with the words “hey” from an account with no profile picture or a blurry mirror selfie, and no mutual followers.

Men that ask for my advice seem alarmed when I tell them they must present something of value to a woman before approaching. Whether it’s good looks, charm, charisma, money, a good sense of humor, similar tastes in music, women need to be impressed. Camile Paglia, a feminist author, has remarked that women are actually the dominant sex because men need to jump through so many hoops to win us over.

When you’re either using an online dating profile or instagram, you become just another number to her. You have yet to prove yourself as a Man. If you must approach a woman online, try learning how social media works first. Have a decent profile, know your angles, and present yourself as someone with a personality rather than another beta male that thinks he’s God’s gift to earth.

How to Attract A Celebrity

The first step is removing the word celebrity from your vocabulary. Put yourself equal to your target. Remember you’re both just people.

Then, go through whoever that celebrity follows. Most likely, you’ll find childhood friends, producers they’ve worked with, managers, team members. And if you’re a pretty girl, it’ll be easy to get at least one or two follow backs. Go even deeper than just their follow list. Follow people that the people they follow follow.

Then, just wait. Wait until you feel an inspired call to action. Watch your engagements go up. If you want Drake, you gotta play the field and start targeting OVO crew members. Just be patient, don’t clout chase, keep calm, and you’ll get that picture or that kid with that rapper or singer or actor.

The universe doesn’t know what difficulty is. The only person who can decide something is difficult is you.

I had a huge crush on a certain rapper, I followed all of these steps, and I have a couple of his associate’s imessages, I’ve been on live with some of his associates, and I’ve had a couple conversations with one of his girlfriends. Now, I don’t even want him anymore, so my manifestation has naturally slowed down. But that opportunity will always be there.


“Gold Digging” is natural and essential for a functioning society

I find it so amusing when men, or boys I should say, flex their wealth on social media constantly, buy huge houses and sports cars, and constantly complain about women only wanting them for their wealth.

The dating and sexual market is advantageous towards men. Men are the aggressors, women are supposed to be passive. This puts modern women into an awkward position, as women are “born rich” according to Red Pill ideology, and any perceived slight by a woman puts her into the danger zone.

Women are universally expected to sacrifice major parts of their personality, be passive and hyper-empathetic to the needs of others, and limit themselves so that they may find a man early enough to have children and start a family.

All men care about in a female partner is 1. low body count or virginity in tact 2. LOOKS above everything 3. naivety/innocence. The fact that most men in the manosphere cannot understand why women find this creepy and disgusting is shocking. Men can bounce back after a relationship much easier than most women, because most of the time men do not see women as people, rather they see them as extensions of the self.

Now on to the issue of gold digging: Men need to be builders, creators, and create a successful economy/country. It’s in their genetic coding. Sometimes I find myself amazed when I hear one of my dumbest male friends talk about technical things. I’m not a man-hater by any means, even if it sounds that way. Women need to build social networks, maintain peace, test men, and build families. Women should naturally only go for the best of the best, and men should strive to be the best of the best. Hypergamy benefits everyone.

Patriarchy, or “Left brain overload”

We live in a culture that prioritizes those that think with their left brain. In current western society, there is a heavy emphasis placed on reasoning, logic, and scientific theory. There is nothing wrong with these traits, but they have to be checked. In an ideal world, every human being would balance reasoning, logic, and scientific notions with empathy, intuition, and creativity. But this is not the case, as is evident in society commonly described by feminists as “patriarchy”.

Both men and women can have feminine and masculine traits, but men and women have in general proportionate amounts of masculine energy and feminine energy to correspond to their physical bodies. Masculinity is very useful for certain life paths, and femininity very useful for different life paths. In both postmodern “progressive” circles and “traditionalist” circles, there is still the lack of appreciation and respect for the divine feminine.

Men tend to be what we describe as left brain, and also tend to be the aggressors. Women are right brain. Our education system prioritizes STEM (an important field!), and discredits creativity and social studies/social science.

Women tend to be emotional, feeling, sensitive, romantic, intuitive, and creative. The gut reaction of a woman when comparing the traits of femininity and masculinity is a feeling of inferiority. This is due to the praise of masculinity (which is a good thing) and the ridicule of femininity (bad!). The only way women might gain respect in modern society is by behaving exactly as a man, and an inferior man at that. Women have almost no spaces for themselves, as women are encouraged to be competitive against each other.

This competition is not necessarily a bad thing, but in the context of the modern dating/sexual market- it’s extremely dangerous. What men naturally want in women is a blank slate. By expanding their career or gaining romantic and sexual experience, they devalue themselves to most men. Yes, ladies, this is shallow and stupid, but we are cavemen after all.

The lack of respect and support systems for femininity is extremely damaging to society. Women hold great power in their own mysterious way, as women are self sacrificing in nature. This is why women stay in unsatisfying relationships, why we choose to go again after giving birth once, why we’ll bend over backwards for most people. Until western society starts starts praising feminine traits, we will continue to be a society full of feminized men and masculine, confused women.

Women need to learn to lead other women, to gain ownership and authority of their own bodies and souls, and negotiate their identity with the world around them.